Written by: Vickie Sullivan | March 26, 2020
How to Neutralize an Ugly Truth
The fear of “what might happen.” It’s a common narrative that will stop any big plans cold. It works because there’s a grain of truth to it.
I experienced this dynamic up close and personal recently. True story: I had a fabulous conversation with one of my favorite advocates in social justice. Well, the exchange was great until I asked a technical question and learned that yep, their effort helped violent people who went on to commit more violence. Let’s just say my ardor quickly cooled.
It didn’t have to happen that way. The biggest mistake in her explanation: She used objective data to answer an emotional situation. Her answer came off as, “Yeah, this happened, but it’s OK because …” I didn’t hear the rest of her perspective because the picture in my head was of someone’s face getting bashed in. She just increased the fear that this could happen to any loved one. I no longer cared about her statistics.
This experience begs a bigger question: How do we acknowledge an ugly truth? Can we neutralize its impact without using the “yeah, but” defense? Yes, you can neutralize the negative – but not by downplaying that impact with data.
Listen: Dos and Don’ts When You Have to Acknowledge Something Bad
It’s very tempting to downplay the dark side by focusing on the good. That strategy of distraction rarely works well. Instead, answer emotion with emotion. If we go to the human side of the situation first, we earn the right to then give objective data.
Now Read This:
- The Strategic Use of Getting Real
- Strategic Sounding Boards Give Real-World Advice for When the Rubber Meets the Road