Written by: Vickie Sullivan | October 04, 2022
Never Give Advice in These Scenarios
People often approach thought leaders to get their advice. Sometimes, however, the best thing to do is not to give it.
To give or not to give requires discernment about the difference between a genuine request and a broader agenda posing as a question. Here are two common scenarios where giving advice does not end well.
• When feedback is not expected. A lot of us assume that when someone brings us a problem, they want to hear our solution. Not always. Some folks just want to talk through a problem. They want a sounding board, not an action plan. Answering questions with a question, such as “Would you like to compare notes or come up with next steps?” will clarify their intent.
Listen: 2 Questions You Should Never Answer
• When a decision is (almost) made. Some people will reach out to get confirmation, not to get advice. The giveaway: Their questions begin with their idea and then they follow up with a rationale about why this is the best path forward. Instead of jumping in front of this speeding train, sidestep the issue with a confirmation (“sounds like you’ve already decided on a plan”) and trade war stories (“yeah, one of our clients did a similar approach and here’s what happened …”). Sometimes questions are really a request for a conversation.
Many of us love to be helpful by sharing our thoughts. The best advisers know the difference between open-ended inquiries and other needs posing as a question.
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